Father’s Day Hits Different When You’re Navigating Infertility or Loss

Father’s Day Hits Different When You’re Navigating Infertility or Loss
by Elizabeth Vivian, LPC, PMH-C

Let’s be real. Father’s Day can be a lot. You know… grills, golf, artwork with handprints, and social media being flooded with #bestdadever

If you’re navigating infertility or pregnancy loss, Father’s Day doesn’t always feel like a day worth celebrating. If you’re feeling off, sad, pissed, or numb-you’re not broken. You’re human.

1. You Don’t Have to Be a Dad Yet to Feel the Weight of This Day

You don’t need a baby in your arms or a toddler making you a crooked macaroni card to feel like Father’s Day matters. If you’ve been dreaming about being a dad, planning for it, trying for it, or grieving a pregnancy, you are allowed to feel the heaviness of this day.

Seriously. Just because nobody got you a “Turtle-y Awesome Dad” mug doesn’t mean your grief or hope isn’t real.

You still get to grieve the kid you imagined pushing on a swing.
You still get to feel angry or numb or confused.
And no, you don’t have to pretend to be fine just because “men are supposed to be strong.”

2. Instagram Will Be Unbearable (You’re Allowed to Avoid It)

No offense to Chad and his perfectly filtered Father’s Day golf outing but you don’t have to scroll through it.

Mute people. Log out. Hide your phone in a drawer. Do what you need to do.

And if you do scroll and feel ragey, that’s normal. Sometimes healing looks like muting 47 accounts and whispering “good for you” through clenched teeth. We’ve all been there.

3. Grief Doesn’t Always Need Kleenex

Some guys cry. Some go silent. Some build an entire backyard deck in one weekend because feelings are scary.

Grief might look like sarcasm, short tempers, zoning out, or just feeling off. There’s no rulebook. But bottling it all up and pretending you’re fine because “that’s what men do”? Nah. Don’t do that.

If no one’s told you lately, you matter in this story. Your emotions are not less important than your partner’s. You get to feel things, too, even the messy ones.

4. You Can Skip the Lunch and Still Be a Good Man

Look, if you want to celebrate Father’s Day, go for it. But if you’d rather spend it eating wings, watching Netflix, or ignoring every text…bless it. That’s valid.

You’re allowed to make this day whatever you need it to be. Grief doesn’t take holidays off, and neither does infertility. And honestly, no one needs that much family time anyway.

Therapy Isn’t Just for Your Partner—It’s for You Too

If you’re a guy dealing with miscarriage, infertility, or the confusing in-between where you don’t know what comes next… therapy isn’t just for her. It’s for you, too. You don’t have to be the rock all the time. You don’t have to process this stuff in silence or figure it out alone.

I’m Elizabeth Vivian, a licensed counselor (LPC) and Certified Perinatal Mental Health Professional (PMH-C) based in Baton Rouge. I work with individuals and couples navigating the emotional weight of infertility and pregnancy loss and yes, this includes men. However, if you prefer to see a male counselor I can give you a solid recommendation.

If Father’s Day feels complicated this year and you’re tired of stuffing your feelings behind “I’m good,” I’ve got a space for you.

You deserve support, even on the days no one knows what to say.